"Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years."
"Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter."
"Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in life, except for good taste in men."
"It has been said that a bride's attitude towards her betrothed can be summed up in three words: Aisle. Alter. Hymn."
"The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman."
"Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition."
English diarist
"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."
"Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers."
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
"'Tis more blessed to give than to receive; for example, wedding presents."
"I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town."
Quotedb: The Quotations Database
