"If unix is the face of the future I wanna go back to quill pens."
"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."
"You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony."
"Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers."
"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
"Two mother's-in-law."
when asked what he would consider a proper punishment for bigamy
"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has."
"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."
"A man in love is incomplete until he has married, then he is finished."
"I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town."
"The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a necessity."
Quotedb: The Quotations Database
