"Elevate them guns a little lower"
order given while watching the affect of US artillery upon British lines at the Battle of New Orleans
"Black holes are where God divided by zero"
"Call on God, but row away from the rocks."
"If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates."
"Woman was God's second mistake."
"Do you know why God withheld the sense of humor from women? That we may love you instead of laughing at you."
to a man
"Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror Kill everyone, and you are a god."
"Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer."
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank."
"In the beginning there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it."
"I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence."
Quotedb: The Quotations Database
