"Busy yourselves with this, you damned walruses, while the rest of use proceed with the libretto."
on throwing a fish at a noisy audience
"Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put 'Emily, I love you' on the back of the bill."
"Thieves respect property; they merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it."
"The Man Who Was Thursday"
"Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it."
"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
"Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both."
"Do they allow tipping on the boat? - Yes, sir. Have you got two fives? - Oh, yes, sir. Then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you."
"Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless."
"My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!"
"Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered."
"Crime does not pay ... as well as politics."
Quotedb: The Quotations Database
