"The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper."
"I'm returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it (your paper) presently occupies the bottom of my bird cage."
Providence College
"I love you more than anything in this world. I don't expect that will last."
"Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put 'Emily, I love you' on the back of the bill."
"And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business product: a really sharp-looking report."
"I can't see that it's wrong to give him a little legal experience before he goes out to practice law."
on being criticized for making his brother Robert Attorney General
"The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but you still have to mow it."
"So who's in a hurry?"
US Humorist, when asked whether he knew that drinking was a slow death.
"The latest definition of an optimist is one who fills up his crossword puzzle with ink."
British journalist and critic
"I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious."
"I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time."
Quotedb: The Quotations Database
