"Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex."

"When women kiss it always reminds on of prize fighters shaking hands."

"Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in life, except for good taste in men."

"Far back in the mists of ancient time, in the great and glorious days of the former Galactic Empire, life was wild, rich and largely tax free. Mighty starships plied their way between exotic suns, seeking adventure and reward among the furthest reaches of Galactic space. In those days, spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.