"After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations."

"When women kiss it always reminds on of prize fighters shaking hands."

"No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American People."

"The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the science of metaphysics."

"I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs."

"'Tis more blessed to give than to receive; for example, wedding presents."

"For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong."

"Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking."

"Criticism is prejudice made plausible."