"I never forget a face, but I'll make an exception in your case."

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read."

"Do they allow tipping on the boat?
- Yes, sir.
Have you got two fives?
- Oh, yes, sir.
Then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you."

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."

"Since my daughter is only Half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?"

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

"There is one way to find out if a man is honest -- ask him. If he says "Yes" you know he is crooked."

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."

"Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does."